Hold on to it

मैं एक भँवरा, छोटे बागीचे का,मैंने ये क्या कर डाला। जंगल से आती खुशबू लपकने गया,हो गया लापता॥

A young selfmade actor Mr. Sushant Singh Rajput left the world on 14/06/2020 out of his own choice and judgement. The event yet again has displayed the idiosyncrasy of the world we live in i.e. a world exploding with humans but a world with lonely humans. In response to Rajput’s sad demise that has been alleged to depression, a lot of us have been sharing their concern. Concern not just for the grieving family of the actor, but also for others who are going through a similar phase.

A lot of people have been sharing that if anyone feels depressed then they must know that they are not alone and can talk to them to tell about their ordeal. But can we really believe this sympathetic yet naive suggestion? Do we really believe that our count of friends on Facebook etc is a reflection of friends on whom we can trust?

A person going through depression goes through a complex thought process, as complex as his/her’s own neural network that has been messed up with overthinking. And while talking about it helps, it cannot be discussed with every other person. The patient must have trust on you that you are there to listen, maybe not solve the problem, but listen to the troubling mind.

I would not say that I particularly went through depression, but yes the times I have faced during my PhD were quite devastating emotionally. You live a life of uncertainty, uncertainty about your results, your scientific contribution, your finances, your future both career as well as personal life. And this is not just a story of mine, but infact majority of the scholars. But even though you are sailing in a boat floating on a sea full of such fellow scholars, you would not like to discuss about your ordeals with most out there, let alone with friends on social media.

So what do we do then? We go and watch a movie, trying to forget about everything else. But the conversation with self is a one on one talk. So if the problem lies within,then the solution is also not that far. My sister Dr. Malini once said this to me after listening to yet again depressed story of mine, that people can listen to you and maybe even encourage you, but only you can help yourself. It was then that she asked me to do meditation on a regular basis. I subscribed to Tamara Levit’s “Calm” app and have been practicing meditation since 2019. And while many may look at meditation to be nothing but sitting like a vegetable, you can only know it’s wonder once you start practicing it.

So, if you are going through a rough phase, then follow certain steps to overcome it. The first step is to acknowledge the problem. This way you will stop running away from it. Next accept your situation as it is. Maybe it is a rough boss, a broken heart or anything else. Accept what you have. Once you have accepted the situation, you can think of solutions with a calm mind. This all comes after working on your breath through meditation.

Remember, we are all part of this world to contribute to it in our own original ways. Not everyone is meant to go to the Moon. Some are to write a poetry on its rough patches too. You my friend, are very important. Much more than you think you are. Love yourself before it gets too late.